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singer, songwriter, comedian, author, poet, broadcaster and multi-instrumentalist

Me And Grandad’s Mates


Grandad takes me fishin’ on a Saturday,
Me and Grandad’s mates.
Grandad brings me maggots, pink and yellow ones,
And me hooks and weights.
We fish all day come rain or shine
On the banks of the old canal;
Sometimes we say nowt,
Other days we chat away,
‘Cos me and Grandad’s pals.

Grandad takes me walking with his little dog,
He calls her Gyp.
We go to the pub and Grandad has a pint of grog,
Gives me a sip.
He says he drinks beer ‘cos his legs are stiff
And it oils them and makes them supple;
Sometimes I think it works too well
‘Cos it doesn’t half make him wobble.

Grandad he comes round and sits with me
When Mam and Dad go out,
We play snakes and ladders and Monopoly.
Grandad has a bottle of stout.
He lets me stay up till half-past ten,
And if me Mam asks him what time
He made me go upstairs to bed,
Grandad says half-past nine.

Grandad tells me all about the things
He did when he was a lad,
Grandad tells me all about the war
And when times were bad.
Sometimes he talks about my Gran,
And then he looks far away;
He says she’s been gone a long, long time
But he’ll see her again some day.

Grandad shows me tricks with pennies,
Grandad flies my kites,
Grandad brings me fish and chips
Home from the pub at night.
And if ever I grow up and I get old
And my kids they have kids,
Then I’ll take ’em fishin’ and do all the other things
That my Grandad did.