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singer, songwriter, comedian, author, poet, broadcaster and multi-instrumentalist

Category Archives: Other

Rochdale Cowboy

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ROCHDALE COWBOY

Never before in the history of mankind has the story been told of those brave frontiersmen who carved out a passage in the Northwest and made it a place fit for heroes to live in.
This is the story of one such man, sausage tosser extraordinaire, his name – Fred Ackroyd.

CHORUS:
It’s hard being a cowboy in Rochdale.
Spurs don’t fit right on me clogs.
Yee-haa
Hard being a cowboy in Rochdale,
Cos people laugh when I ride past on our Alsatian dog.

Almost every night
There’s a tripe and cowheel fight
In our local pie and pea saloon,
And poor old Uncle Fred
He spent 18 months in bed
Cos he tried to kiss a girl who’s a boy called Sue.

CHORUS

When the sun shines in the west,
That’s the time that I like best,
And I go out punching cows with me brother Jack
And poor old Uncle Fred,
He spent 18 months in bed
Cos he punched one cow and she went and punched him back.

CHORUS

In the local Temperance bar,
We’d go and have a jar.
There’s sarsaparilla and liquorice juice to drink
And poor old Uncle Fred,
He spent 18 months in bed
Cos he supped the stuff they use to clean the sink.

CHORUS

Yer know when us cowpokes hits town,
We go and horse around
With them good-time girls in the house of Mucky Peg.
When Auntie Kitty found Uncle Fred,
He spent 18 months in bed
Cos you can’t run fast with your pants halfway down your legs.

CHORUS

It’s hard being a cowboy in Rochdale.
Spurs don’t fit right on me clogs.
Hard being a cowboy in Rochdale,
Cos people laugh when I ride past on our Alsatian dog.

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The Little Books

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About The Little Books series

A Little Book of Angels

A few years ago I wrote the text and took all the pictures for four small books on various aspects of church architecture. They were published by Aurum Books of London under the titles:
A Little Book of Stained Glass
A Little Book of Misericords
A Little Book of Gargoyles
A Little Book of the Green Man

Over the years they sold steadily, mostly in cathedral shops or in the better bookshop. Then the internet came along and people from all over the world began ordering the books from Amazon and writing to me about Green Men or stained glass or gargoyles in their own particular necks of the woods.

Then this year Aurum asked me would I do four more books:
A Little Book of Angels
A Little Book of Devils and Demons
A Little Book of Tombs and Monuments
A Little Book of Miracles and Marvels

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